8/17/18

1:09 AM

How Bad Do You Wish You Were King Arthur?

Oh man, you gotta love King Arthur. The honorable Mr. Pendragon! How much do you want to be this guy?

1:00 AM

Do You Smell Luxurious Enough To Attend Warren Buffett’s Extravagant Adult Baptism?

10:59 AM

How Many Of These Ways Have You Padded Out The Running Time Of Your Brother’s Funeral?

12:02 PM

Is Your Flamingo Sick Enough To Make A Movie About?

11:44 AM

How Many Of These Ways Have You Alienated The Cast Of Your Community Theater Production Of ‘Les Miserables’?

3:47 PM

How Many Of These Sentences Have You Used To End Your Weekly Email Newsletter About Horse Hypnosis?

2:57 PM

How Many Of These Ways Have You Passive-Aggressively Suggested To Your Neighbor That He Shrink His Children Down To The Size Of Ants?

12:49 PM

Are You Rich Enough To Look At ClickHole’s Platinum Collection Of Ultra-Elite Content?

3:06 PM

How Many Of These Things Have You Yelled While Having Mind-Blowing Sex With R.L. Stine?

1:17 PM

Which One Of My Enchanted Marionettes That Love North Korea And America The Same Amount Are You?

12:21 PM

How Many Of These Reasons Have You Given Your Daughter For Why Her Iguana Doesn’t Deserve A Funeral?

11:33 AM

Und Hungr’y Hogg Have Aten Öll Th’ Bibles Een Aur Vellage Laster Nighten. Kann You Writt Ein New Bible Far Us, Plase Goodest Educated Sir?

11:11 AM

Do You Know Why You’re Grounded?

10:37 AM

Can You Tell Which Of These People With Flyswatters Are Trying To Kill A Bug And Which Are Just Holding Them Up To Brag?

12:21 PM

Can You Convince Gandalf To Start Paying Child Support For His Son Who Lives In Florida?

12:34 PM

Which One Of The Kids Who I Sell Samurai Swords To Are You?

11:45 AM

How Many Of These Ways Has Neil Young Humiliated Your Dad?

4:13 PM

Will The Edits You Made To Your Documentary About Plums Be Enough To Get Its Rating Below NC-17?

12:20 PM

Can You Be Trusted With Some Bad News About Santa’s Prostate?

1:00 AM

How Well Do You Remember The Plot To ‘Where The Red Fern Grows’?

Not As Heartwarming As It Could Have Been: Anthony Hopkins Just Showed Up At This High School 8 Months Early To Ask A Girl With A Temporary Neck Brace To Prom

Okay, Ladies, Now Let’s Get In Formation: 5 Ridiculously Fun Bachelorette Party Destinations Where You Can Lap Up Gallons Of Cola And Rip Ass With Your Best Gals

Disgusting Freak: This Man Has An Entire Room In His House Dedicated To Urinating And Defecating

How Bad Do You Wish You Were King Arthur?

Do You Smell Luxurious Enough To Attend Warren Buffett’s Extravagant Adult Baptism?

How Many Of These Ways Have You Padded Out The Running Time Of Your Brother’s Funeral?

Is Your Flamingo Sick Enough To Make A Movie About?

How Many Of These Ways Have You Alienated The Cast Of Your Community Theater Production Of ‘Les Miserables’?

How Many Of These Sentences Have You Used To End Your Weekly Email Newsletter About Horse Hypnosis?

How Many Of These Ways Have You Passive-Aggressively Suggested To Your Neighbor That He Shrink His Children Down To The Size Of Ants?

Are You Rich Enough To Look At ClickHole’s Platinum Collection Of Ultra-Elite Content?

How Many Of These Things Have You Yelled While Having Mind-Blowing Sex With R.L. Stine?

Which One Of My Enchanted Marionettes That Love North Korea And America The Same Amount Are You?

How Many Of These Reasons Have You Given Your Daughter For Why Her Iguana Doesn’t Deserve A Funeral?

Und Hungr’y Hogg Have Aten Öll Th’ Bibles Een Aur Vellage Laster Nighten. Kann You Writt Ein New Bible Far Us, Plase Goodest Educated Sir?

Do You Know Why You’re Grounded?

Can You Tell Which Of These People With Flyswatters Are Trying To Kill A Bug And Which Are Just Holding Them Up To Brag?

Can You Convince Gandalf To Start Paying Child Support For His Son Who Lives In Florida?

Which One Of The Kids Who I Sell Samurai Swords To Are You?

How Many Of These Ways Has Neil Young Humiliated Your Dad?

Will The Edits You Made To Your Documentary About Plums Be Enough To Get Its Rating Below NC-17?

Can You Be Trusted With Some Bad News About Santa’s Prostate?

How Well Do You Remember The Plot To ‘Where The Red Fern Grows’?